My niche in the world.
What makes me special compared to anyone else in the world? Absolutely nothing. My story is not the same as the next person. I feel we are all special in our own way. I wish I knew how to blog when I was younger. I hope I do not fail the person reading this. I feel that what I want to do in the world now is Empower women, young and old.
My story begins as a military brat, my father was an immigrant from Mexico. Came here to the United States as a teenager. 13 years old and living in San Antonio, Texas. He went to college and dropped out due to be drafted. Married my mother in EL Paso, Texas during his training for the US Army. My mother a American-Mexican born and raised in San Antonio, Texas. Sometimes we have to know where we come from before we can move forward. I say that and your going to laugh, I am a contradiction. My 3 siblings all born in Texas. Myself, I was born in Frankfurt, German. I lived there 10 years and Fort Sill, Oklahoma had became my second home. My heart it lived and died, two times in my life. Once in Heidelberg, Germany the day me moved to the United States. The second time was San Antonio, Texas, the day my grandfather died.
My father was an old fashioned man, the woman eats last after feeding men and children first. Now my dads sisters taught me this as I looked and saw them always eat last. I saw it with my mother as well. I grew up thinking the same. Women and female children clean house, do laundry, wash dishes. I always felt as if this is the norm.
I was married at 17 years old, to my two oldest daughters father. I was finishing up my Junior year in high school and it was summer time. I was in summer school for Geometry. I failed my class due to being pregnant and being in a pregnancy school. I will not make excuses for what happened, as I am responsible for my mistakes and my actions. Not just with school, but my baby girl. Alicia, my love of my life. The reason I pushed myself to graduate high school with my class in 1996, in little old Lawton, Oklahoma. I worked part time, and was a full-time mother. I was married to a guy who only thought of himself. He graduated college, and his head grew big. We lived in our own place after we got married, in a dump to be exact, but it was our apartment. We fought day one after being married. I told him in 5 years we would be divorced. Truth be told 5 years later I walked away, we hit each other, we yelled at each other, and we hated one another.
My single days, I worked double shift as a waitress in a Mexican restaurant to feed my daughters, buy them clothes, and pay for the gas that I had to use weekly to drop or pick up my girls from visiting their father. As we did not live in the same city. I went to the clubs, was out of control trying to find myself. Met lots of great people that never hurt me and always had my back. Waitressing, I met a young soldier, he was too young for me, but just got back from Korea. Two of his friends had just made it to Fort Sill, and well my husband now got stuck with me and all my mess. He helped me raise my 3 and 5 year old daughters. I got pregnant with my beautiful son, and the rest is history.
I catered to his every move, actually I still do. He did 15 years in the Army. I followed him. I cooked for him, cleaned for him, and raised our children. As my daughters dad slowly vanished from our site. He fought 4 years with me in court for custody not to visit or because he loved them. But for control of me even after the divorce. To this day, still no sign of him. Once in a while to visit my grandchildren. People try to take our power from us, we have to understand no one has that power. We are the only ones to give power to anyone to hurt us, and to make us angry.
Now that my husband is out of the military, I started to work at a warehouse, 10 hour days 5 days a week. I went to school full-time to support my family. We had no income, not a dime other than what I made. I felt tired and drained. I never knew what I was doing was being done by my drive and passion to keep my family together. I live with my husband, 3 children, and my 3 grandchildren. Now I chose my life, I choose to stay here in Washington. I chose to go to college, I got my AA in two years. I dedicated my life to bettering myself. I was out for almost a year and decided that if all I can get is warehouse job after 2 years of college, I needed to get back to college. So here I am 2 more years to go.
While I have my life, my daughters are my inspiration. I do this at age 39 so they can see I am not weak. To show them how to empower themselves. They are smart girls, one working at a sandwich shop. The other, is a full-time wife, mother, and student. She just graduated at age 21 from college, but for her high school diploma. I took her to the college and did not really ask her but signed her up. She would talk about finishing school, but never acted. I was sick of hearing her talk about the “would of” “could of”. She took a year to finish but let me tell you the smile on her face when she did it. She had a rough life, had two children before giving up on her senior year. She worked hard, and spent her money wisely.
My other daughter she is my baby girl. She was the straight “A” student in high school, and played soccer since pre-k. She wrestled her Junior year of high school. She worked hard too. If you want things in life you have to work for them. I was never given a thing growing up. I tried to give my daughter the world, to a point. If children do not know the value of money and how far it goes, after working those hard long hours, they can not appreciate money. She got sick with kidney disease in November of 2016. She almost died on me. She told me she was spitting up blood. I took her to the ER. They said her kidney numbers were low, they retested her. I tell you their stories not to get empathy or sympathy. I tell you because she is alive today, because of me being a mother and getting up at 4am to drive her around. Because mothers die for their children, and I will be damned if she dies before me. She is my other inspiration. She still works hard even on days she is in pain. She is the reason I push my self daily to be a better woman.
Now to empower women, we need good men by our sides. I raised my son who is now 15 to be a loving boy. Teach them to clean after themselves, cook for themselves, and make their own coffee. Teach them to stand up for family. It is all you have in life. My husband my right hand man. He never discouraged me from going to college. He has an MBA, so what? He earned it, that is his ambition. I supported him, through college and the Army. The neglect he gave me during all this time. Now it is his supporting time. The difference is I even during college, do not neglect my family. I take my daughter to and from work, I babysit to give my daughter time to breath, I take my husband to the VA. I do what I must. My chaos is my norm.
Now tell a story that encourages people when they feel that there is no hope. When they say “they can’t” or they want to give up. Lift up and push people upward. But start with yourself. I ready a Covey book, and remembered one thing from it. What would someone say about you at your funeral. Empower!